Where there is no guidance, the people fall, but in abundance of counselors there is victory (Proverbs 11:14).

I’ve been afraid to write for a few reasons.

Some of the issues I have been dealing with aren’t your day-to-day, run of the mill stuff… but with big issues affecting my relationships with others. While I am fully aware and have embraced the fact that my blog is public, those in my circle may not be as willing to share. They don’t want their business out there and out of respect for them, I often keep certain topics private. However, I would like to be transparent about the state of my life, individually, as a parent, and in my marriage.

In the last three years, Chris and I have dealt with more than what a typical couple goes through in a lifetime, let alone a three-year span. I became sober, we had infertility issues, I had a tough twin pregnancy, we had little support for twin infants, we made a cross-the-state move, we had a bonus baby, I suffered postpartum depression, I went back to work full time, and we have been and are currently raising three kids (now under 2.5 years old). Three. Years. Folks.

These life events have undoubtedly been tough to deal with; however, I am not looking for sympathy. Many of the choices we made were due to the information we had at the time and any disappointment or discouragement we have about the past, we must own and continue to focus on the future. In the past few months, Chris and I have decided to regroup a little, finding help for us, as parents, as individuals, and as a couple.

As parents, we have started a few new ways to cope with the terrible twos and chaos of being a parent to three littles. A friend of mine recommended a book Easy to Love, Difficult to Discipline by Becky A. Bailey PhD. When she mentioned it, I gave her the lip service we all give someone trying to help us… “thanks! I’ll check it out” and then we never follow through. I thought, “what the heck? My commute is usually over an hour long one way.. I might as well listen to it.” Let me tell you folks, this book is FANTASTIC. While it gives you tools to discipline your child effectively with love and empathy, it first touches on ways to discipline yourself by loving and having empathy for yourself. We treat ourselves as we treat our children… and let me tell you, I am so mean to myself. I guilt myself. I tell myself how incapable I am. Or how overweight I am. (I could go on, but I’ll stop here). I’ve learned that being this way with myself carries over to how I interact with my children – and to put it bluntly, I need to get my shit together. I would hate for my kids to talk to themselves the way I talk to myself. It would actually break my heart.

Individually, I have been actively working to better myself on a daily basis. I see a therapist on a weekly basis now. I have a psychiatrist who oversees my medications to ensure my anxiety is kept at bay. I have started to see an occupational therapist for my diastasis recti (abdominal separation) to strengthen my core so I can eventually begin running again (yay). While I won’t speak for Chris, I know he is working very hard on himself, as well, and I am very proud of the work that he is doing.

As a couple, this is where we need the most work. We have started seeking counsel on how we can better communicate and fight fairly. I could make excuses for our struggles, but I won’t. I will just say that we are working very hard to ensure we are strong together, so we can be strong for our kids. Our goal is to relight the fire that burned so brightly when we first met. I love him with my whole heart and I am optimistic about our future.

Thank you for reading. It is difficult but imperative that I continue to share our life on this blog. It has helped me express myself in a way I can’t always do verbally.

Not only has blogging helped me personally, but it has lead me to a new adventure. In a few weeks, I will start freelance writing for Cincinnati Mom Collective, an online parenting resource for local families. Stay tuned for more information on this – I am thrilled!